Dearest Nicole,

I can’t believe in about thirty-seven days, you will celebrate your thirty-ninth birthday! In spite of all the trauma, heartbreak, unforeseeable pain and confusion, now is the time to revel in your perseverance, and all of the valuable lessons you’ve learned along the way.  And speaking of those lessons, you really should be proud of the woman you are today! Be mindful and rejoice in how far you’ve come since that timid, (and often times) scared little girl you once were.

If I could turn back the clock, I’d remind you every single day, with every fiber of my being that you matter. You are enough. I would remind you that your voice matters. Getting an education matters. And most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself and God matters. I would also tell you how beautiful, purposefully unique and loved you are. I would tell you to lean not on your own understanding. Remember back in the day, when those kids were mean to you – and chastised you for being too light-skinned? Do you remember taking that brown marker and painting your skin so that you would look more like your parents? Do you remember, finally looking in the mirror – and loving the reflection staring back at you? Today I say to you: the behavior of those children was simply a reflection of what they were taught. Your worth, my dear, has very little dependency on the shoulder of others.

Please recognize, Nicole, that while your father wasn’t around to raise, love, or protect you, he did the very best that he could. Be open to the possibility that while he was unable and unwilling to serve as an example of how a man is supposed to treat a woman, understand that he did as much as he knew how. Know that the choices he made to use drugs, live apart from you, and ultimately start a new family without you, have absolutely nothing to do with the person you are destined to become in this lifetime. Understand that your mother wants the very best for you, and because of her life’s work and experiences, she can only teach and show you what she has been taught and shown. With all of her being, she continues to do her absolute best.

While the world is a ridiculously scary place, it has no bearing on your ability to conquer and overcome your greatest fears. No matter the appearances, there is a power greater than you, which lives inside of you, working for your highest and greatest good. Life, my dear, has so much more to offer than what you choose to see. The power that resides within exists to co-create a life full of abundance, and to fulfill your deepest heart’s desire.  All you have to do is tap into it! Seek a God of your understanding – and walk a spiritual path that supports the person you have been called to be. As a magical woman of color, your purpose is to make the world a better place. Study hard, apply yourself, eat your vegetables, exercise your freewill – and be grateful for all that you have.

Know that the challenges you face will ultimately shape your ability to give back to the community – and live a life that is authentic and filled with joy. And when it gets really tough, have faith that it’s all incredibly necessary to fulfill your life’s work. You are a lightworker in the making, with a mission to guide and support others on their healing journey.  But first, you must learn how to grow through your own trials so that you, can in turn, be an anchor for others. Dim your light for no one; you have been tasked with an assignment that is so much more powerful than you could have ever imagined. Keep going, Nicole. Your breakthrough is near.

 Love always,

Your Higher Self